I had left my favorite pair somewhere. They were white running ones with ad hoc bright green stripes. They used to fit perfectly; I could still close my eyes and picture them perfectly, if even from a dream I had of them. Where did I leave them? It’s not every day that you open your eyes and realize a pair of your shoes is simply gone! Ugh, but why did it have to be that very pair? It was the perfect pair… I can’t even remember where I bought them, or if I’d bought them at all. My lovely pair, it’s time to accept the fact; they are gone; it’s time for acceptance and letting go; as always.

And then there were the gray ones; the ones with bits of red here and there; those were super comfortable and the perfect thing for long walks. Whatever the hell happened to those! Ugh, this was definitely a nightmare. On the same day?! And two pairs! If I hadn’t seen some weird shit in my time, I wouldn’t have believed any of this. Yes, they were also gone; had simply disappeared from the face of the earth, just like that.

I felt as if my identity had faded away along with them. I couldn’t really decide, whether I had to walk bare feet now; it would be so strange to walk in any other pair other than the two. I had counted on the two pairs very much; had relied on them. Then again, what can you truly rely on in this life? It’s almost like a never-ending nightmare at times.

The very idea of growing a pair of wings was an obsession in vain; as if any other obsession would ever amount to anything at all! But let’s say-if only for today-that one could really have the ability to do so; that the mere notion of daydream would-for once-turn into a phenomenon, only a touch more tangible. Would I then care at all for shoes of any kind? Would I be in need of any other pair, ever again?

On my way to the airport, as I was sitting in the back seat, listening to the countless voices in my head, I was distracted from the many scattered thoughts by the reflection of a very familiar shade of green… I looked down; they weren’t there. I looked up; they were nowhere to be found… was I now seeing things? Had I gone delusional as well as many hundred other things that this life had turned me into? I longed for them once more; somewhere between my less-than-perfect acceptance and my ever-brimming confusion.


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