What’s this pain? What have I gained? What’s this bitterness of days?
There’s no smile upon my lips; there’s no way around these tears
I have lost my self and way; I have fallen through a wave
This has never been my way; and has ruined the hope of rays
They have killed it, dimmed its glaze; and have thrown me in a daze
Inside a bottle, through the waters; but these waters are my tears!
There’s no ocean, there’s no bay; I just float in what I’ve shed
This duality of doubts; has turned threefold and fourfold-
Of rushing poisons of the mind; they’ve made me dumb as well as blind
I am no one at the moment; I’m a Nobody inside!
I’m a spirit of a someone; I once thought I were to be
I had to be a certain someone; someone known to those I knew
I had to feel a certain feeling; but sometimes feelings turn to naught
Nightmares ever present are the gift of darkened mind
Monsters so relentless are the offspring of the blind
I’ve been meaning to find light; since I’ve always felt its might
I’ve been ever after light; that blinding, seeing white…
I hope it takes me where it might; I do trust it with my heart
I wish it lifts me where it must; I feel listless, I need part.
I ask for magic, the divine; It’s just time they intertwined
These wounds have taken over; a shattered soul of many years
This pain has overstayed and overstayed and it shall fade…
They say that one day I’ll survive; when’s that ‘one day’, Someday soon?
They tell us strive, forever strive! All this effort is for what, is this the life?
I had hoped for something real; is this what’s real, A fading dream?
Or is this clinging to a pain which has lingered through what seems-
To be what life has come to be; to be what days have come to see?
Or is it just Life that’s ever-cruel and ever-giving, ever sane?
Perhaps it’s me who is insane; perhaps it’s me who has to fade, and not the pain!
I guess it’s me who has to leave; be non-existent like my joy
I know it’s me who has to be; among the trees and through the breeze
Where I’ve ever longed to be…