The Fall of Summer

I can’t believe that autumn has arrived already.

I noticed a significant number of leaves falling all over the place as I glanced through the windowsill and I just couldn’t believe it.

I still can’t believe that our love had to stop and that we couldn’t be in love for long.

I noticed a considerable amount of pain where my heart would be as I pondered with the feelings and the thoughts inside and I just couldn’t believe it.

I can’t believe how I kissed you like no lover ever would, with that passion rising right above my soul and that burning heart as I was looking at my lips in the mirror, washing away the memories and I just couldn’t believe any of it.

I noticed a massive dose of longing and the things which had remained unquenched as I took a glance at my eyes but could not stare for much longer; I wanted to apologize to myself and I needed to believe something.

I couldn’t believe how I had let you make love to me that way, or was it even you making love? Or was it perhaps only me, giving you all the love and you overwhelmed by it all, simply going with the inevitable laws of nature: reflecting, giving back what was too much for your soul: none too big! Hard to believe and yet…

I noticed how it had all been me and only me all through the way who had made love, who had given love and who had simply received the same love in return: my love, the love of my loving soul, the brimming soul of mine, so big, larger than life. Yes, this was something I could believe in.

I cannot get my head around it, can’t put my finger on it; I wonder if Life has been less than fair to me. I don’t want to believe that at all, I do feel the need that I have to believe in something somehow though…I do want to believe in Love once more because I feel the need to believe, can you fucking believe that?

I have to start noticing things a little bit quicker, I have to use my wit and still manage to feel somehow. I need to believe in the power of my own soul and without the desires of my heart being overlooked or over-felt!

I need to understand that although autumn might be here, though the leaves might be falling everywhere, it could only mean that a new beginning is at hand; a new era in which believing in something bigger, in something more divine could be the new trend. Yes, I need to believe that I could still believe in things; in things much bigger than myself.

I need to believe that autumn is here and this is a good thing, I need to believe in this for now…

 

 

 

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