If I were to put down all that pains me, all that brings tears to my eyes, there were times like these when I could not think of anything to put down. Either because there was really none to write and say or possibly because there were so many things, so much pain and trouble that putting it all down would simply be doing the impossible.
Instead, I decided to let the tears come down and flow where they wanted to. I let this air of pure sadness, this lack of joy develop and live as much as it wished and finally I would let it stay so that it would turn into a frenzy of livelihood where everything’s felt but pain; a silence of absolute existence and life where the music in the air is so peaceful and delicate.
Then the music changed and naturally I decided to face it. The day was new and life had brought with it things of beauty and bliss? Maybe not; but things of novelty and thrill, no doubt! This was a gift for sure; a very beautiful one; as a very good friend of mine said: “the confusion became the gift.” Since I had never been one to look the horse in the mouth, so empty and full of a certain nothingness I walked on or perhaps lied down to die.