Tom is a boy. I mean he is a man. Uh…no, what I mean is, Tom is a guy. Wait…a male! Yes, Tom is a male as opposed to a female. Simply put, Tom’s gender is masculine and ultimately Tom’s sex is male and he is a sexual person and this means he has sexual desires and fantasies towards people he meets in the course of his life.
Most of Tom’s sexual fantasies include physical and mental images of a female, of a woman and basically a feminine being and of course a vagina somewhere among all the fragments and notions. You see, Tom would love to be the giving end of that end where a woman receives and he knows perfectly how to be that and have the rein of every single detail.
Now let’s say Maria is the possible case on that receiving end. I mustn’t forget to mention Maria’s gender and sex: she is a feminine female and hence, the beholder of many masculine fantasies of rugged images, the least of which and the most basic: a phallic image which for those of you who are not familiar with literature jargon, pretty much means the image of a penis regardless of size. (size is not an issue at this point.)
Maria would know a vast number of things to do with a penis once she spots one; because Maria—as I mentioned earlier—is a feminine female which causes her to crave for precisely that. From the beginning of her puberty—if not ages before that—she has been living with those images, she has developed a sexual identity where she and a phallic image would give vent to their many sexual fantasies and desires.
Tom, likewise has known of a woman’s bosoms and of course something a little bit more on the soft side; simply put, a yonic image which again according to literature jargon is synonymous with the vulva: the vagina. In his many years of living in fantasies, he has always been the one who penetrates and gives and this is what defines Tom’s sexual identity.
Jack though, falls into a very different category. You see, in the world of Jack, things are not quite as black and white as they are in that universe of Tom & Maria’s; or perhaps they are exactly that: black and white or if you want my opinion, simply of one color. Jack’s ideal fantasy includes whatever that Jack himself has never been, but in the way that he sees them as a need, as a lack, a craving. Jack does have possible inclinations for the yonic imagery as much as any other guy, but you see, Jack’s pictures are a bit and at times a lot more than a bit on the rough side, they are rugged and brutal and harsh to the point that it all turns into this fetish and then Jack loses interest in any picture which lacks this roughness (off the top of my head I can say anything that Maria is NOT would interest him.) and well, he chooses a whole other category: one, let’s say, more like Tom’s.
Of course it’s needless to say that the same story is also true of Maria’s case. I’m sure by this point you know the drill pretty well and I don’t have to bore you with a whole other tedious paragraph on that one as well.
Personally though, I suppose, Jeremy’s case is a very interesting one; in that, Jeremy applies this whole other system and works out a very different way to deal with the whole thing. In fact, Jeremy’s many fantasies, his many pictures and images—phallic or yonic or whatnot—are basically regardless of any kind of identity. Jeremy is simply interested in that whole concept of giving and receiving, all sex words aside. Jeremy knows that there is something called sexuality but he does not know of this other thing called sexual identity. Jeremy basically feels the need when it knocks in the form of any kind of urge and moves on.
Now, with all the facts (dare we call it that!) you have right here, you tell me now; Is Jeremy a male or a female? Is Jeremy masculine or feminine? What is Jeremy’s sexual identity and most importantly, what label would you stick on Jeremy? in fact, just tell me, does Jeremy really NEED a label? Could he not survive this lifetime without one? Without our definition of Jeremy, would he all of a sudden cease to exist? Can’t he just be ‘Jeremy’?
© Sina Saberi – 22 November 2010