To have looked in the mirror and having seen a perfect stranger has always been an inseparable part of the deal. To have looked into the mirror and having seen a scary scared face though, has never been quite welcomed; it doesn’t grow on you that easily.
The scary shadow really frightened me the other day. Its presence was of utmost fear and it filled me with a very unique type of evil emptiness; the kind that fills you with a dark matter, with evil all over, and with a silence oozing through a hazy void.
Yes, it indeed did have “evil” written all over it and that was rather scary. I had been no stranger to change and definitely not to any kind of stranger, perfect or not; so naturally I showed no resistance and neither did my perfect stranger within.
But after a while, as it appeared, it had been too much of a burden on both our shoulders and it was perhaps time to re-evaluate our values if any! I for one was surprised at how much I had let the evil of the whole thing take all over me. Instead of letting go-it seemed-I had let in this matter which was so dark inside.
Something strange in the air had caused all this. This was both my justification and my excuse to have done what I had and damn it was a good one. It was stable for the most part; the thing that I had rarely ever been.
Good old, lacked and sweet stability: the thing which had always filled my world with holes of emptiness and void. That sweet and bitter thing which was not to be possessed or to be had, just showed up in the most unprecedented way possible and in such disguise that it caught me off guard so bad so quick.
After that day, I guess I was no longer innocent. Or had I ever been anyways? I wondered what I had become but more than that and perhaps even more interesting was what I had been all along or if a part of me had always been something of the same matter. This really made me wonder.
And yet, somehow, the flow of life was still en route. It was never to stop to let you feel feelings of sorrow or happiness long enough to make them yours. It has always been that way, this flowing breeze of life: