It all really started on the day they put up the new wallpapers in the empty room. He had mauve in mind but somehow ended up choosing one of the creamiest, subtlest colors they had to offer; something between sugary crust and dawn white.
He knew he wanted simplicity at its simplest. He wanted no furniture; Just his books along with new curtains matching the wallpaper and no frames on the wall. Yes, that he knew. And so began his new journey as a supposedly-matured lover.
The room was a sign of his letting go of the single most painful event of his life which had caused his heart to shatter into many pieces and had left him hurt and broken for a very long time. He had decided to find himself, his way; as well as that he had promised himself to be open and give and receive in any way he possibly could have. Be it new lovers or just random strangers, he had promised himself that.
Now though, after what can only think of as a lifetime he had realized once more, perhaps he had never really let go of what had always mattered to him more than anything in the world; and though he was still seeking that single most cherished thing in his life, he had perhaps never really looked.
By this point, he thought perhaps, he’d given so much love to that single certain someone that possibly there was not much love left inside him for another true lover; that perhaps, he had given so much to so few many that he was emptied of love somehow, if that was even possible in the world he lived.
When your truest love is not answered, what it does to you is of unimaginable magnitude. What you are, what you become after is just beyond words and thought.
He had given all that love, all his love and yet…he still had something really big, really intense inside. The love inside him might’ve ended and been emptied and yet he was filled with something so lovely.
Even after this lifetime which had passes, he could still very vividly sense the smell of the new room, the sense of the newly glued oil wallpaper which took quite some time to dry up; the smell was to his sharp sense: empty, cold, new and fresh with just a tiny bit of thrill and a zesty aromatic note along with a curious final lingering.
The room itself, rather cold and yet so much warming in his excited heart. The emptiness of the room was of a certain significance to him.
The room was empty…And yet had so much to offer…somehow like his shattered heart.