Somewhere between Oral, Anal and Phallic I was lost; When he showed up.
He had been around all my life but It was of interest how he should show up at this very point in my life.
He contradicted; he always disagreed. But so calmly that I couldn’t get mad, I couldn’t care.
I think I can say I love him to an extent, perhaps from the bottom of my heart?
But he was not to be held.
He blamed it on this disease he was suffering from.
And I said no more.
I just lied there, played along, his well-played game.
I felt like his toy and he sure knew it pretty well and enjoyed it.
I don’t know if, first off he knew what he was getting us both into or if perhaps
This was one of his master-mind eleventh hour lucky outcomes.
And then he suddenly talked.
For the first time ever I was amazed by him and all he had to offer.
I was scared; panicked even a little bit.
And eventually, diminished I must say.
For the first time ever I did not mind his dominance.
He, sensing this, was enjoying his prime and who can blame him?
He opened this door, long after he had slammed shut the previous one so harshly.
The whole thing was so hardcore.
He was harsh, rough and simply had no care how much it hurt.
All he cared for was the sweet taste of victory.
I didn’t mind it though; for I had had my share of success in the past and now I had learnt to let go.
I don’t know.
I guess I kinda was enjoying what he was doing; the things he was saying, somewhere between oral, anal and phallic…
Yes; I guess it was oral!