Of all the analogies in my life ever mentioned, there’s this one which really drew my attention and opened a new door. In other words, of all the illusions in my life, there was only one which couldn’t have been any truer or any more real.
I was driving towards this lake, this stupendous, magnificent lake. Beautiful. Enchanting flower and plants all around it. the water, so pure, so clear, so serene and so blue. This lake and its surroundings were all I’d known of beauty all my life. This lake was pure beauty. It was beautiful and full of beauty.
I just couldn’t resist the urge to stop the car and just jump right into it. so I did. I jumped.
The sunlight dancing in the air, letting its glorious rays mingle with the tree leaves. The fresh breeze, letting its winds, flowing in the air. So beautiful, pure beauty.
When I jumped, I did not close my eyes, for it would’ve been unfair to all this abundant beauty. NO! how could have I closed them even for a mere fracture of a second?
As I was going down in the deep lake, the light was getting blurry. The splendid, gay colors were turning into opaque hazes of gray and white. The sunlight was being muffled, filtered through the bubbles. And then there was darkness.
Jet-black darkness. The sounds of the day were but deafening silence. The visions, only a dark, dark black. The blackest black I’d ever seen.
I wondered, I wondered… I couldn’t help but wonder what on earth had suddenly happened; so suddenly. This darkness was no ordinary one. It was empty. It was lonely. It lacked all hope and joy. It was simply dark. The sensation of death was present at all times and places and so I drowned… and so I died…
It’s soothing, it’s purifying. It cleans the air. I’m enjoying it. it’s enjoyable. For a second I burst into tears of fear and joy. But most importantly tears of comfort. The comfort of knowing that all my life, even for a second, I hadn’t been happy. Ever, even for a single moment. Even when I looked the happiest—as it turns out, I just LOOKED happy and wasn’t really that.
Oh… it’s all so clear now. It’s been all but a humongous lie. Not a single part of it has been real all along. And death itself wouldn’t be an exception to all this. So now that I finally have died for real, I can see that it’s not that bad after all.
It’s comforting. Wow!
Who would’ve imagined? Not a single true moment of joy? Of real joy that is. NOTHING ever made me happy.
And this world is just not good enough anymore. Except for nature. You know nature: the trees, the mountains, the oceans, the flowers, the meadows, the deserts and of course all the LAKES…
I wish this wouldn’t have to be a trivial comatose, I wish it could be the real deal.
You know what they say… Half a loaf…