All the time for the last couple of months or years he’d been wondering about the life he one day wanted to possess. He was trying to shape things up how he thought they would be suitable and proper for him. It was all like a long-term investment in the life that was already happening right then and there. He just couldn’t see it.
All the possibilities of a better future and a better life; He just couldn’t see; A better life and also a better personality. A better version of him he knew or had known. Always picking up tiny bits of life and trying to keep them for the day he would finally be ready to live. He was keeping them all for rainy days, he just didn’t realize it was autumn and spring everyday! That’s why he was lost; Cause he already was where he was supposed to be, he only imagined he was going somewhere, anywhere! There was nowhere to go, this was where he would want to be, he just didn’t know it, he just couldn’t see.
Those he imagined in his arms, someday had already come and left, without staying for long, he himself was the one who had repelled them, pushed them back. Now he was yearning. He was a man after all. Or it seemed so.
He had the ideal life of many, millions. He had it all in the eyes of those people. He had it all. He was popular, but he sometimes wondered why, because to him, he seemed the most bitter creature there ever lived.
It was as if anything that happened, had happened for the sake of him. Just to put him on the right path, all the people all the opportunities presented. Anything, any event that had ever occurred, had done it for him. Like that tree that wanted to BE so much that it somehow managed to make the seeds, planted long before the existence of the tree to try and change and die and bring this stunning creature to see the jungle and the blue sky, the world, to give and share and rise way up high into the sky, towards the sun.
He thought that he was the ultimate observer, born only to see, evaluate and keep it all for sometime, someday; All the while, not knowing life was right there, happening, flowing and passing right through him, away.
The wise young foreigner told him one night, I was like you when I was your age, but it all dawned on me when I hit twenty-something, that life would take you away eventually. That you realize you simply have to BE. And that your values will vanish right in front of your eyes, like déjà vu that suddenly clears out and fades away, just like that. And that you will learn to live and give up remaining still. You simply have to.
The wise young foreigner’s words appealed to me much. They opened a new door. They showed me new paths, with sunshine all over and of course a tinge of dark.
There’s the conspiracy theory here, really! He once said to me: have you ever imagined, all the people around you, everyone, from that geeky girl whom you see once or twice at school, to that cool gang you hang out with which makes you feel good about yourself, all are there, they know more about life and they’re trying to take your hand and show you how it is. Mostly they are not even expressive enough. They just show you glimpses so that you yourself can figure it out and go higher. You might even go further than they did but that’s not the point, they just want to show you, they have tasted something sweeter, they want you to get a taste too. They are kind-hearted, good-willed.
People are so generous. We just have to open our eyes to see! People are full of beauty. Those that are not, are dead, have been for a long time.
So then this conspiracy theory sounds all so very exciting doesn’t it? Gives you hope in the most intriguing way!
It’s simply amazing: Their eloquent yet subtle way of survival. It’s full of beauty, harmony and goodness.
There is no such thing as physical beauty and appropriate fashion. It’s all there, the beauty of people, inside and out. And you don’t even have to try, it’s there. Always; The beauty of friendship, the beauty of curiosity, the beauty of sharing. Of knowing, of living life and sharing the sweet taste. The courage in people is full of praise. Their dare is pleasant and sweet, their spirit is lovely and warm. Some people are simply beautiful. They are human beings. They are human. And dancers.