So what if U suddenly wake up to find your left hand gone? Literally! What if you’re so in search of a huge change that suddenly things such as this will show up? How are U gonna feel? Are U gonna stop asking for “a change” and try to give the old life a try?
This is what almost happened to me the other day; I woke up just to realize I no longer had my left hand. Apparently it had slipped in that space near my bed and had gotten stuck between the bed and the wall and had got totally numb throughout my sleep.
Since it had got stuck and I couldn’t have been alerted by the pain I had turned over the other way and had simply left my hand right there in between. creepy, isn’t it? No sooner had I woken up than I realized something was missing…My left hand!
Oh how miserable I felt instantly. It’s not like you can just glue it back together U know. I was afraid! Still in the dizziness of it all, I got to thinking: I wanted change and this is a change; HUGE and unpleasant but still a change.
I thought to myself: How is it gonna be from now on? I’m gonna be considered a disabled person; An amputee as some would call me. “This is not cool” I thought.
Then I got to the conclusion that it wasn’t perhaps change that I sought, but a better awareness. I have been seeing a lot of change and I have been going through a lot lately.
Experiences have still been occurring one after the other. People have been going in and out of my life everyday; My life and the world have been as ever-evolving as ever. Seems like it’s been ME who hasn’t been seeing all this. For it’s all been happening too much and too fast that I couldn’t see it anymore. Only if I could get out of me and look at me THIS wouldn’t have happened.
Of course even this amazing realization wouldn’t and couldn’t undo what had happened recently; My hand was gone for sure & I had to learn to live with it all. I’d get used to it eventually.
Made me think of the “A Christmas Carol”. How “Scrooge” was suddenly caught off-guard. How up till that very fateful moment he was just living his life thinking that everything was fine and that everything would stay the way it was. And then suddenly this huge change you can’t escape; Death! How scared he must’ve been.
I was in a VERY similar situation and I thought to myself: If he could escape death perhaps I could escape this “inconvenience” as well.
You see, my hand wasn’t in fact totally dead; In it was still this tiny ray of hope; the tendency and desire for life; that insatiable confusing element; that spooky factor. And so I used all my power and all my will and rescued my hand, my now-so-precious, brand-new left hand. I felt this love for it instantly. as if all the love of the universe was diverted towards it.
Of course shortly after finding out my hand was all okay again I felt like before; took it for granted!!
So is the case with any other part of us…And with all those around us.
On second thought; I wish I HAD lost my left hand…