Frankly, I can’t say I’m in square one again but…
the pressure is just unbearable…once again the fear comes my way; the fear I learnt to deal with so perfectly, so efficiently. For a while it was as if I had mastered the art of “living” but then again, How could it have been so easy?!
I loved being up there, felt like home, Like somewhere designed for me and only me. But as they say “a good thing never lasts and that it has to fall.” I’m not saying it was for sure a good thing but at least it made me feel at ease and not so stressed out.
I saw new things, I did new things, I dared (Something I’ve always been a big fan of but never had got the chance to do so!); Oh yes, I dared to the extent that I myself shook from within and went like: “Whoa!” but I wanted to and so I did it and I most definitely do NOT regret it, But you see it’s the “after effect” that makes you realize the magnitude of what you’ve done and later you’re like: “Wow! did I really do that?!” “but How!?”
Does it even matter now? I don’t know, U tell me!! You’re the one getting all erratic about it! just Chill. Wish I could; Ain’t that easy. What is? Some things are. Name One! Uh… See!? There’s none. maybe you’re right but… Oh, Come On!! there’s no but this time! No justification. No excuse!
Perhaps for now I’m gonna ignore you. Yea well, that’s something you’ve mastered! Shut Up! Just leave it be will you? Doesn’t matter what I do or say, it ain’t gonna help you a bit. So what will? Wish I knew. U see, you’re no good either! But at least I’m always there for you. In case you haven’t noticed you’re quite lonely. No I’m not!! oh really?! Let’s see…Oh that’s right! There’s No one!
So here I am…in square one…Only now it has turned into a circle.