Come On!! after all that I’ve been through in this life of complication and confusion…after all the times you said “No!” and I was like “so be it!” after all the pretence…all those lonely nights i stood awake thinking, knowing that thinking was the only way I won’t feel dead, not knowing you were out there feeling, living, breathing…oh how many sleepless nights I cried my eyes out; the point is eventually we ended up pretty much on the same level but…

You didn’t know a thing for I never breathed a word but baby, honey now you are wise enough to tell the difference or at least I hope! smiles…I still smile the same way and somehow the meaning of my smiles has stayed the same but something’s different today and that’s the intensity of it…today I don’t have to try too hard…just a “bitter one” will do cause somehow deep deep down i kinda know you know what’s going on inside…

And love…up till now i had just known it hypothetically…theoretically…but now i can smell it on my skin…caress tiny bits of it with my fingertips…I feel it like a cold rush of blood towards my heart…gives me chills, titillates me and then leaves me empty…it’s like for a second I don’t wanna be there…don’t wanna exist…sometimes I ACTUALLY get the feeling that I’m dead and then…Back to reality; to the incompleteness I’ve learnt to call Life.

Am I living elsewhere simultaneously? cause it feels like I’m not living the life I’m in…or maybe this “life” of mine is being lived by someone other than me; cause at only certain moments can I truly Feel it, grasp it…

I can’t say I’m losing my way cause I’m not sure if I’d ever actually found it or been on it for that matter but what i know is; I need a Touch…I need a Kiss…I need some Love…and I need it all NOW!

4 thoughts on “A B C L U V

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